Dramatic title, amIright?
The “this” is a really a fill in the blank, and the “I” technically should be a “we.” Ehh…semantics. Either way, this statement…
A) Is one I hate to love and love to hate.
B) Is also 110% true and makes our lives so much better if we embrace it.
I like to be independent, private, able to “handle” things on my own, even if that means holing myself in my room and having a good cry, but you get the point, I want to take care things by myself.
As time goes on, I am constantly being taught the untruthfulness and pride in that belief. We need community. We need other people in our lives who guide us, pray for us, celebrate and mourn with us. Humans are social beings, created to interact and form bonds.
So why do I, and many of us, dislike the statement, “I can’t do this on my own”? There are probably a dozen reasons, but I’ll point out three that hit home for me.
One, it’s a big blow to the ego. I don’t want to admit that there are situations when life is too overwhelming for me to manage without help from someone. It’s hard to swallow pride and recognize that our human selves can only do so much.
Two, asking for help forces us to be vulnerable, which is uncomfortable to say the least. It is scary to open up to another person and risk the chance of being turned down or embarrassed. That feeling of fear is legitimate, but the actual fear itself is erroneous. It has no weight. True friends, loving family members, supportive teachers or coworkers, they care about you and want to see you succeed. Often that means they are willing and ready to help or listen.
Three, if we’ve been hurt or let down by people before, it’s extra hard to ask for help. We build walls around ourselves to keep every possible threat out, but in the process, we block out the really wonderful people and things too.
The importance of admitting this…
We form relationships, widen our circle of compassion, and allow collaboration and building to happen, among other things. Admitting that you can’t do ____ by yourself allows you to get the help you really need. Sometimes, in really special instances, you even become your helper’s helper, and a kind of neato(that’s the technical term), symbiotic relationship forms. Also, we become healthier. When we have a kindred spirit walking with us and helping to carry our burden, life’s struggles are a bit easier to face. We don’t have to do this whole life thing alone.
I’ll leave you with this picture of pure goodness.
Bye Loves ❤
Thoughts? I love to hear what you’re thinking.